I Was Careless Once.

 ““Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”” (Luke 6:37-38, ESV)

I am a nearly 40 year old retail stocker, going on six months working for the company in this current run.  I have seen the work of those around half my age not only be inconsiderate in their work, but have a less than ideal work ethic.  For a moment, I was incensed.   Then I remember, I was once young, inconsiderate, and, to put it bluntly, lazy.  So, I quickly let it go.

Is it because of the "no one wants to work anymore" or "no one wants to work for less than a 'living' wage" attitude that the young are what they are?  That's a discussion for another time.  What matters in the moment was my reaction to it.

Yes, there must be accountability, but also:

“For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” (James 2:13, ESV)

Even today, I have committed errors in safety and in recklessness that cost the company not a small sum.  While being held accountable, I was still shown mercy.

OK, I'm Done With Suno.

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

(Mat 7:12)

 

I admit to have used Suno in the past, and to use Suno to generate one more song (whose lyrics were fair use by the way, since it talked about Suno and the lawsuit by Miss Krystle), but even that is regarded as unethical by some musicians.  The following video spoke about stuff like this, and is very direct.

I made a confession in the comments (a la James 5:16, I think), and received appreciation for it (and also edited it for full disclosure)

Anyway, just wanted to share that, since it does tie in to Biblical principles of the Golden Rule, which in this application, means to have absolute respect for intellectual property, which of course, as a young adult, I did not have, concerning video games, music, etc.  All such instances of IP theft have since been deleted and/or destroyed, and I intend to consume content only ethically and legally.

So, what else does this mean to me?  Perhaps it's best that I stick to writing.  I've had more practice with writing (as evidenced by this blog) than any other creative craft.  I even wrote and published a short memoir (in which, yes, I used generative AI to translate into King James English), which I later unpublished due to Biblical concerns (see 2 Corinthians 2:17), and the main claim of the story of being debt-free I later disputed.

Still, what you see here is done with human hands, and not paraphrased or translated by generative AI.

Update on my Previous Post on Online Christian Forums

 When providing a link concerning John MacArthur on a previous post (not the one I'm talking about now), I came across a Scripture verse about not digging up evil.  I don't know the citation as of now, but that's why I unpublished the post about online Christian forums.  Yes, there are multiple denominations represented online, which makes for virtually guaranteed heresy, but again, I'm trying to be more careful.

Let me repeat some Scripture verses that guide my carefulness (ESV is used for more clarity):

“desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions.” (1 Timothy 1:7, ESV)

“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.” (James 3:1, ESV)

I'm Hung Up On James 5:16

 Jas 5:16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Rick Warren says that this doesn't mean you confess sins to another person in order to be forgiven.  Scripture does confirm this (although I don't endorse Rick Warren, it just popped up among other sources when I was looking up that specific verse on Google.).

Still, if it's in the Bible, we must do it.  I'm mainly hung up on this because of mechanics.  Honestly, I should just take a look at the verse itself.  Here's the entire passage in its context:

Jas 5:13  Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. 

Jas 5:14  Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 

Jas 5:15  And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. 

Jas 5:16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. 

So yeah, it appears like, if you're sick, confessing sin is key to getting healed, along with other believers praying for you.

But, if anyone's curious, I don't mind sharing.  In the ESV, Proverbs 24:9 says:

Pro 24:9  The devising of folly is sin, and the scoffer is an abomination to mankind. 

I was really hung up on this because I wasn't sure what it meant, especially when the KJV says "the thought of foolishness".  All I wish to say in public is that I may have violated Proverbs 24:9 throughout my life.  How, I don't wish to disclose.  Only that I am likely guilty of it.

I also would like to confess my continuing struggle with anxiety, in violation of Matthew 6:25-34, Luke 12:22-31, Philippians 4:6, and the like.  Yes, anxiety IS a sin.  I am less anxious now, seeing as I take the notion of anxiety being sinful, seriously.

I Have A New Job, and more Confessions.

 So, I now work at Walmart as an overnight stocker.  I've been there for around three weeks.  Now, I still have a bit of OCD concerning handling of grocery items, sometimes, I accidentally damage food product/packaging (I almost never have it happen now), and it freaks me out.  I also wonder what counts as "working off the clock" (I'm not talking about clocking out and catching up on stocking, that's obvious, but rather the tiny things, like trash pickup, or holding a door for a fellow worker, the former has not happened, the latter has been dealt with to where off the clock work, if it counts as such, virtually never happens again).

Proverbs 28:13 (on hiding sin vs confessing and forsaking sin) has really been hitting me lately, even in things that may just be in my head, and/or things that aren't really sins.  For this, I need to refer to James 1:5 (on seeking wisdom).

Maybe I should also listen to Matthew 6:25-34 and the like (on anxiety).  I still sin in this, and must repent.

More Confessions of Contractual Wrongdoing

I'm sorry, but I have to do this, so I can be at peace. You know all those times when a website Terms of Service contract says something like, "By continuing, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to the Terms"?  I haven't always read the Terms.  Lately, I've been more diligent to do so, but I haven't in the past.

Also, my failure to read the fine print has also extended to outside the Internet.  Last night, I was looking over my vehicle contracts from the dealership, and I discovered that I haven't read everything, even though I tried to at the dealership.  This morning, I recall that I probably didn't even read the fine print at all for my previous vehicle financing.

And, just to be more complete, there may be other times when I didn't read the fine print when I said or represented that I did.

In short, I lied.

I'm sorry, my conscience has given me great trouble these past few weeks, and I just wanted to make a confession to satisfy my conscience.  I apologize to any and all parties with whom I may have broken my word, including Google And Blogger.

I'm a Hypocrite (Maybe), and other Confessions.

 I once said in a post that since been deleted "Don't Create An Account With Reddit".  I unintentionally did not too long ago.  My apologies for any hypocrisy.  So why the "Maybe"?  Probably because I may have changed my views on Reddit.

Also, I do not fully understand the Privacy Policy, so I lied there.

A Confession of Policy Violations and other Sins (In The Name of Honesty)

Updated 3/31/2026

For the last few weeks (as of February 2026), I have had several pangs of conscience over my past sins, even as far as back as a teenager (mainly concerning piracy, which have since been confessed and forsaken).

This confession piece is about my employer, USD 290.  I was a school custodian there, working as Lead Custodian at Lincoln Elementary.

Yes, I have received high ratings from my supervisor and praise from students, staff, supervisors, and the superintendent.

Yet, upon inspection of board policy and the district handbook, I discovered that I have fallen short of following the rules.  At times, I have used communication devices in disruption of my duties.  I have also used district supplies for personal things (such as using what may be district pen and paper to write an "infraction log", attempting to do what I am doing now on non-school equipment and supplies.).  I may have even violated the rules on gifts (to the district, not the kids as far as I know).  Oh, one more thing:  I may not have submitted every accident report I should have.  That, and I have not always followed my supervisor's orders. That, and I have not checked every single window and door of my school during building checks (I have neglected the roof windows and doors).  

As for non-policy violations, I have left lights on for an entire day at times (although recently I am thinking of ways of making up for that via less power usage, I doubt they accept payment for what is commonly trifling amounts of waste).  In the past, I also have not always followed flag protocol, whether that's also a policy violation, I don't know. 

There may be even other things I am either in violation of, or have sinned against (pardon the grammar).

Now, you may say, "These are petty things.  Who cares?". Well, I suppose God cares.  He sees every detail of my conduct, and knows when I fall short.

And you're right:  To my knowledge, I have not committed acts so serious as to warrant instant termination.  I suppose if I have, I would have already lost my job.

However, this post here is to ease my condemning conscience, and to provide honesty in case anyone asks for the reason why I say I'm not a great custodian or why I say I haven't followed the rules perfectly.

Not only that, but as a condition of employment, I agreed to follow such rules.  This, I have broken my word.  I have technically been unfaithful to the agreement.

Again, not only that, but I suppose I have never been faithful to any of the agreements I signed upon hiring and upon receiving my pay raises, when weighed against the above scrutiny.  At the very least, a few of my lapses of judgment have not gone unpunished though, as I was indeed written up in 2014 or 2015 for an incident of subpar performance.

If I am praised and awarded for outstanding conduct, I hope it's not because I followed the rules to the letter.  I have not.  And I suppose I will probably slip up in the future, not that this gives me a pass to do so, not at all but I just want to be honest.

3/31/2026 UPDATE: I unintentionally went one mile over the 10 mph speed limit at the board office when receiving an award.

And so, with this post, no one can ever say that I didn't slip my shortcomings under the rug.

Just Want To Make Some Things Clear.

I was with my family shopping, when we encountered someone from an old church.  The conversation at one point turned to Dad's profession as a pastor (bivocationally).  

The lady asked, "Do you go [to his church]?"

I along with my brother was silent.  We hardly ever go to church, but for different reasons.  Besides, we work practically every day as custodians.

"You still believe, don't you?"

We all agreed.  I said, "Yeah, we believe." (I meant, we all believe in God and the basic facts of Christianity).

I then added, "...believe in the Bible."  (I meant, I believe what the Bible says, even the literal controversial teachings.)

I later clarified myself, saying with a quicker and slightly lower tone, "I believe in the Bible.", speaking for just myself.  I never explicitly said that my family didn't believe in the Bible.  I do have my doubts of this because I believe in the Bible more plainly and literally (similar to Fundamentalists but not precisely like them), and the rest of my family doesn't.  I'm not saying I'm better than my family.  I'm just saying that my SPECIFIC faith is in the "Bible", the Word of God.  I don't believe in any denomination.  I simply wish to take God at His Word, no matter how crazy it is.  

I don't know the extent of my family's belief in Christ, I've simply stopped automatically considering anyone, including myself, a believer simply because they say that are, for there are loads of false teachings in this world with the label of Christ.

Why am I saying all of this?  I have taken a more plain and literal take on the Bible, and question everyone else who does not, because of my exposure to Darwin Fish and A True Church, who, not explicitly, drew me to search the Scriptures for myself.  I have yet to reconcile the notion of "God is a man" and the "two virgin births" teachings.  All that matters is that I can set aside everyone else's notion of what the Bible says and just read it for myself.  If we agree, great!  If not, I am not responsible on the Day of Judgment.

In conclusion, by simply getting my religion from the Bible and nowhere else, no one can say I relied on mere men, Darwin Fish included.  That, and I'd rather just speak for myself about my faith, because of that I am more sure.

How Jeremiah 22:13 Changed My View On The Internet

Jer 22:13  Woe unto him that buildeth his house by unrighteousness, and his chambers by wrong; that useth his neighbour's service without wages, and giveth him not for his work; 

This very Scripture has fundamentally changed the way I see the Internet, and all its content.  Please read on.

How It Started

I have made it a habit to read a chapter of Scripture a day, preferably in the morning.  I was on Jeremiah 22, when I came across the above verse.  I thought something:  What free online services do I use that I could be paying for, either through purchasing a subscription, making a donation, or watching an ad?

I have a confession to make (Proverbs 28:13):  I was a thief.  I pirated music via Napster, I downloaded video game ROMs, etc.  This was back when I wasn't a Christian.  I have since paid for a good number of the albums I once stole from, the rest I streamed on streaming services, there may be a few songs that have slipped my mind.  As for the video games, I have paid for a good number of them too, thanks to Nintendo's eShop.  It is likely impossible for me to make full restitution for the thefts (soft language calls it piracy) of software and media.  Still, I wanted to make an effort (see Exodus 22:12).  To any former thief who is now in Christ, heed the following:

Eph 4:28  Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. 

One of the biggest software thefts (of which I was also guilty until I paid for it), and the subject of many jokes, is the file compression software WinRAR.  Officially, you get 40 days to try it out for free, and then you are commanded to either pay for it, or uninstall the software.  Many people, including myself, have kept using the software without paying.  In 2021, after using other file compression tools, I finally paid for it. (I may have paid for it twice, there was also a registration key in 2023, oh well, perhaps it's for the best)

This YouTube video has more information on the WinRAR situation:

I just want to make it clear to everyone:  If you are still using WinRAR after the 40-day trial without paying for it, YOU ARE A THIEF, and thieves are among those who do not enter the Kingdom of God:

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

(1Co 6:9-10)

Back to those online services I've been using for free (of which the providers of the services allow at limited use).  I've been blessed in my job that I more often than not have extra money on my hands, and I've been able to compensate several software authors (individual or group) through a premium subscription, a donation (which I call a purchase, keep reading for more info), or watching ads.  Plus, on a mental level, I feel less restricted in using the software or online service when I have actual skin in the game.

2Th 3:8  Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you: 

(I'm not perfect in this, but I am making an effort to do this time and time again.)

As for this blog, it is powered by Google, which is compensated mainly through ads through other services I use, so it's not as if I'm taking advantage of this blog for nothing.  It may be "free", but it doesn't come without a cost.  (I may have to consider returning to paid web hosting and get a WordPress blog set up, mainly for the sake of independence)  Now, of course, for the sake of 2 Corinthians 2:17, I refuse to connect my AdSense account to this blog (or solicit donations, I have plenty, also see Hebrews 13:5), so I'll have to figure out other ways to compensate Google while being light on its use. (I recently asked Gemini, Google's AI, for an answer.  Using Google's other services, paying for content on their platform, is essentially the answer.  So we're cool.)

As for the "donation" I mentioned, I donated $50 to Linux Mint in order to justify using that operating system in my PC building project.  In my heart, IT'S NOT A DONATION, IT'S A PURCHASE.  I figured $50 was a decent enough price for an operating system.  It was cheaper than buying a fresh copy of Windows 11.  Some of you may be saying, "You have sinned, because you publicly acknowledged your donation in violation of Matthew 6:14!"  For reference, here is the Scripture:

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

(Mat 6:1-4)

My answer to such an accusation is this: THIS IS NOT ALMS. It's naming my own price, in the guise of a "donation".

OK, one more thing:  What about those who can't afford to compensate for online services?  Are such people sinning?  Of course not!  If the provider of such services offers them for free, to use it for free is not theft.  In fact, we ourselves are to do things for the poor for free anyway:

Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.

(Luk 14:12-14)

 

How I See The Internet Now

Remember back before the Internet was a big thing, where if you wanted to consume ANY content, you either had to buy it, if it was music, books, etc., or watch ads if it was television?  Now, because of the Internet, there's a BOATLOAD of free stuff to consume, yes, many of which distribute it in the name of sharing.  Still, Jeremiah 22:13, whether I interpret it correctly or not, got me to thinking, "Am I too attached to this stuff?"  (loving the world leads to Hell says I John 2:15)  So, naturally, my Internet use has fundamentally changed; I am using it less.

What Now?

 So yeah, there's a little bit of withdrawal from reducing my viewing of content.  Still, it's good to reduce it, in order to also follow this Scripture:

"Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." --Proverbs 4:23

Hopefully, I will find other things to do with my life.  It may take some time, but maybe, just maybe, I can improve my interactions with others, that is, to seek them out more, something that Christians need to do anyway in order to fulfill the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19).

 

 

 

I Proselytized To A Native American, Here's How It Went.

Mar 16:15  And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. 

In my last post, I talked about how I felt the pull of proselytizing to people.  Today, I actually did it.  Let me give you the background in what led to me doing it, and how it turned out.

Last night, as our family was watching Star Trek: Discovery, I pondered on the idea of talking to people.  Weeks ago, I went to a certain gas station early in the morning to get some gas, where the manager (whom I am technically extended family with) carried on a conversation with me.  She asked me about my job, and how long I've worked there, etc.  I asked her something like, "Are you curious about working for the school district?"  She replied, "No, just making conversation." 

It hit me:  I'm terrible at making conversation.  I haven't tried to "get to know" people since I stopped trying to find a wife (I'm a pretty biased person).  The last time I recall having a genuine conversation with someone outside family (initiated by the other person, that is), was with Gates McFadden at Planet Comicon in 2022.  In retrospect, Dr. Crusher was more of an evangelist than I was.  

Anyway, that was the thought.  As I'm writing this, I'm thinking that Mary Wiseman, who played Tilly, would offer a great "masterclass" in conversation.

Anyway, as I was thinking about conversing with people, I thought, "What do I talk about?"  Oh yeah!  Maybe I should talk about Jesus to them!  Isn't that what Christians are supposed to do?  Thus, the previous post about my hesitations to give cold pitches about Jesus to strangers.  Is it a lost art?  Perhaps.

Yet, I resolved to actually do it, to preach the Gospel to at least ONE person today.  I still remember the words of the atheist Penn Jilette, who hates those who don't proselytize, because if Christians truly believe in the eternal torture of Hell, why wouldn't you broadcast it fully to the world?

So, after my building check, I headed to Walmart to get some groceries.  I then had a thought pop in my head, suggesting I go to the same gas station to proselytize.  I ignored the thought, thinking that it's just my own imagination (Proverbs 3:5).  As I was approaching Walmart, I thought to myself, "Why not?  Let's do it just in case it is God telling me to do it."  If this is the wrong approach, please correct me on this. (Proverbs 6:23)

So I went to the gas station, and filled a Styrofoam cup of Diet Coke to purchase.  There was one gentleman who was there, and I carried on a conversation with him.  I thank God that he carried more of the weight of the conversation, so it was no issue for me to ask if he was a Christian.  He said he was.  We then parted ways.

I then went to the counter after the first gentleman paid for his drink.  The clerk rung me up, commenting that I could have had it cheaper had I bought a reusable cup like the first gentleman.  I paid for the drink, he gave me the change, and then I asked him a line that I previously thought of, which was, "Have you ever thought of what happens to you when you die?" (Was it the Holy Spirit giving me this idea, per Luke 12:12 and the like?)  

After being taken aback a little, the clerk told me how he hopes not to burden his children with his debts.

I then clarified, "What about your soul?"

He replied, "I'm Native American, so I believe that we come from the earth, and when we die, we return to the earth.  I don't believe in Heaven or Hell, and I don't believe a religion should be pushed on someone."

I then thanked him for his honesty, and he returned the same sentiment in kind towards me.  I left, going back to Walmart to get the groceries.

So what did I learn from all of this?  I thought to myself, "OK, people don't like being proselytized."  I then remember Paul's words:

And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.

(1Co 9:20-23)

There is indeed strategy to be considered when trying to win souls.  I certainly didn't want to spout platitudes like, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?", but perhaps the line, "Have you ever thought of what happens to you when you die?" is also a platitude, I hope that's not the case, I hope I didn't deliver that line as a platitude.  As a whole, humans aren't stupid.  They can smell a platitude miles away, and can tell whether or not someone is genuine.  There is an common expression: "Read the room."  This expression is biblical:

Rom_12:17  Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

So how do I get the Gospel out, verbally?  I seem to have no problem doing it in writing, as this blog is certainly being read, for that I thank you, audience.  But how do I do it with my own tongue?  Perhaps these pieces of Scripture will help:

Mat 10:16  Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. 

1Co 14:20  Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men. 

2Ti 4:2  Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. 

I have always believed that any evangelism is to be natural and effortless, because, as I've said, the world can spot a fake.  May God help me to broadcast the Gospel, in any and every way.  May I not be ashamed of the Gospel (Romans 1:16).

I Confess, I Don't Know How To Proselytize In Public

 “But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.” (Matthew 10:19-20, KJV)

Oh wow, I've talked about this before.

I remember many times recently when I have the chance to speak to a stranger for a few minutes.  In my mind, I'm thinking, "OK, now's your chance to preach the Gospel."  Nearly every time, I'm silent.  I don't know what to say.  I don't like using the platitudes of "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?", or "Do you know where you'll be when you die?"

I often wonder, "Am I truly ashamed of Christ?"  If so, then Christ will be ashamed of me (Mark 8:38, etc.), and I think that means Hell.

So why don't I even mention Jesus?  It's easy for me to write about Him online, yet in public, cold, the words won't come out!  Obviously, everyone needs to hear the Gospel, because their own eternal souls are at stake!  I warn people in public about natural disasters, and yet warning people in public about eternal disasters is put on the back burner.  (Most all I can muster is appear to talk to myself, saying "Acts 2:38!" and the like.  At least the message is somewhat broadcast.)

I do have a few reasons for my hesitation.  For example, let's say someone does respond to Christ.  Naturally, they will want to attend a Bible believing church to fellowship (Hebrews 10:25).  Problem is, I cannot recommend one to them, not even my own family's church (an American Baptist church whose denomination I have previously exposed as unbiblical).

However, the true Church is not necessarily housed in a building.  The true Church is the entire body of believers, albeit scattered in many places around the world.  Best I can do is keep in touch online, which, by the way, if you're reading this, and believe to be a believer, please contact me.  I am no pastor, I preach only what I know (I Corinthians 13:9).

I pray the Holy Spirit gives me not only the words to speak in public, but the boldness (Ephesians 6:20) to do so.  Relying on His sword, the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17), helps.

I Lack Patience. (Plus an Update)

Gal 5:22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,  

For the past month, I have undertaken a new project.  I have decided to build a PC for the second time.

For the past several months, I have been live-streaming on Twitch, playing video games, doing commentary, etc.

Both are related.

(Bear with me, this will get a little technical here.)

Yesterday, I was going to live-stream my PC build progress.  Yet, I was called away to family matters, so I had to abandon the stream, and even the recording of the build.  "Just build it", I said.  Yet, I still had that anxious, impatient excitement about the project, that I wasn't aware of a few things:

1. The CPU I bought did not come with integrated graphics, and neither does the motherboard.  So, without any kind of video, it won't work.

2. Thermal paste fuses the CPU and cooler together.

3. The CPU is not always the problem.

I thought, all I needed to bring the PC to POST (that is, to display the "power-on self-test" screen), was the motherboard, the CPU, the power supply, and the RAM.  I was wrong.

I watched a YouTube video on how to troubleshoot the situation.  The man mentioned that it could be the CPU, but he also mentioned that you needed video, and that most AMD CPUs don't come with integrated graphics.

All I heard was "CPU", because I thought I already broke it.  You see, I had a rough time getting the CPU cooler to work, that I thought the CPU was the problem, so to save time, I wanted to check that first.

I began to unscrew the mounting brackets of the CPU cooler, and then realized that the entire CPU was ripped from the AMD socket!  Oh great.  It took great difficulty to get the cooler off, but once I finally did, I found out that some of the CPU pins were bent!  I tried to bend them back into place, but then a couple of them broke.  So, the CPU is a brick.  $150 down the drain.

That's not the only problem:  I also heard that the AMD socket could also be damaged.  I looked carefully at the socket, rotating the latch back and forth, and sure enough, it looks like it took some damage.  Another $150 down the drain...maybe.  I'll have to take off the plastic casing on the socket to assess the damage.  I don't mind that, seeing as I'm declaring the motherboard dead anyway.

(Update: Done.  Check out the innards of the CPU socket during my "autopsy".  Look at the darkened pins.  This is where the damage occured.  It is likely the pins can't touch the affected areas, so yeah, the motherboard's a goner.)

Needless to say, I was in a hurry, and I wasn't patient.  If only I diagnosed the PC problem like I diagnose my sin problems time and time again:

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

(Mat 5:29-30)

The sin was lack of patience, and the cause was my involvement in Twitch streaming, especially since I was working with a salesman of a lady selling me her overlay services, of which she was quite persuasive.

So, in the spirit of Matthew 5:29-30 and 2 Timothy 2:4, I deleted my Twitch and Discord accounts, and quit streaming.  Besides, to continue to pursue this would also be a dishonor to my family (Exodus 20:12, etc.), seeing as I had to pause my streams constantly to take care of family business (not an issue, by the way).  Streaming was just in the way, and a distraction from better things.

So, what about the PC building project?  It's still going on, albeit more slowly.  I have an SSD on the way, and I plan on buying a copy of Windows 11 next paycheck.  However, the replacement motherboard and CPU will have to wait until I get my tax refund, and with the CPU, I intend on getting one with integrated graphics, which was the case in my first PC build (that one went much more smoothly, and with an easier CPU cooler to install that I set up and left alone).

Once I get the parts, I intend to wait until there is ample time to put everything together.  No rush.  Even if I have to go to another location to do it.  It must be done with the utmost of patience.  Not trying to be an Internet personality helps.  I might talk more about this later, or maybe not.  Depends.

May God cultivate patience in me.  This humbling experience sure helped.

 

UPDATE (2/7/2025): The tax refund came, I bought the motherboard and CPU (cheaper ones), and decided to go with Linux instead of Windows.  

 

Here's what happened with this build:

 

1. Won't post.  (Oh, forgot to plug in a cable.)

2. Screen asks me to make a decision on resetting the CPU (or something.).  Internet says Yes.  PC turns off.  I turn it on.  PC turns off after a few seconds.

3. I plug in the USB stick with Linux on it.  After about 30 seconds, posts!  I install Linux Mint.

4. Great so far, but one problem:  Sluggish.  I think, "Temperature problem?"  I install a temperature applet.  90+ DEGREES (Celsius) !  I look up more things.  Enable Internal Graphics in BIOS.  Still, 90+ DEGREES.  Turns out that is the actual temperature.  Great.

5. I think to myself, "Just wait until tomorrow."  I sit in bed, looking up temperature issues.  I suspect it's because I didn't screw in the CPU cooler all the way.  I look up how to do it properly.  Some guy encourages me to be firm on the cooler.

6. I try that.  All four corners screw in tight.  Turn on the PC.  TEMPS NORMAL!  PC is faster!

As I'm typing this, the PC is running at a cool 29 degrees.  Apparently, I went the other direction in temperament.  Before, I lacked patience.  Now, I lacked resolve.  I was too CAREFUL.  I remember the coach from the movie "D3: The Mighty Ducks" say, "Don't be do careless, but don't be too careful either!  You cannot be afraid to lose!"

There are many Scriptures encouraging courage (Deuteronomy 31:7), as well as patience.

Luce Sheds Light On My Beam

 “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5, KJV)

There is a new anime character, and it's coming from the Catholics.  Her name is Luce, which is Italian for "light".  Immediately I thought, "idol" (Exodus 20:4, Leviticus 26:1, Deuteronomy 4:16, 23, 25, etc.).

Then I realized my own struggles with other worldly characters, especially during Planet Comicon:

"Yet, my fervor at beholding the Winged Knight [Batman] stirred within me a disquiet:  Had I begun to elevate my soul unto these follies [a reference to Psalm 24:4]?" --The Ninth Cloud, Chapter 2, Verse 46

After any of my own hypocrisies are dealt with, then I can keep a 10 foot pole distance (see I Corinthians 10:14) from Luce.

Why I Changed A Few Things On Facebook

 In a word...humility.

This may have been a part of it:  I attended a Sunday School today, and one of the Scriptures mentioned was the following:

Deu 8:18  But thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, that he may establish his covenant which he sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day. 

In other words, the ability to make money does not come from you.  All your skills, all your talents, comes from the Lord.  Correct me if I'm wrong (Proverbs 6:23)

As many of you know, I am a school custodian.  Many months ago, I was left short-handed, becoming the only official custodian of the building.  With the exception of some help here and there, I am still the only custodian of the building.  At first, I worked plenty of overtime.  Now, I work less, because I have learned to be more efficient.  This made me somewhat prideful in my heart (Proverbs 16:18).

Sunday School reminded me of that.  

Now, on to what I was going to talk about:

On my Facebook page, I used to have a picture of plastic canvas pieces that read "28 28", referring to Job 28:28:

Job 28:28  And he said to man, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.’” 

I also mentioned in my bio that I am a God Fearer and Lucky.  The "Lucky" comes from the following:

Ecc 9:11  I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. 

I'm still willing to acknowledge that I'm lucky, for we all are.  And I still believe in the concept of fearing God.  We should fear God, mainly because:

Luk 12:5  But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him. 

Yet, I also believe in not being a hypocrite, as is written here:

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

(Mat 7:1-5)

Now, I still believe that "Judge not" doesn't mean "Judge never" as shown in this post here.  Even in this Scripture, Jesus permits one to "cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye".  Why does one do this, unless it's a problem?

So what's the deal?  Do I no longer fear God?  I surely hope not.  I surely hope my fear of God (which is a LITERAL DREAD (Isaiah 8:13)) remains.  Yet, I would be so heartbroken to be found a hypocrite if I do anything that suggests I don't fear God.  

I'm not perfect.  My struggle is just like what Paul is saying here:

For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

(Rom 7:18-25)

So, yeah.  That's what's going on.  I haven't abandoned the faith.  I'm just being honest with myself.  Only God knows if I'm being faithful.  I hope and pray that I still am so.

Will I Backslide From Financial Discipline?

And it came to pass, when Moses had made an end of writing the words of this law in a book, until they were finished, That Moses commanded the Levites, which bare the ark of the covenant of the LORD, saying, Take this book of the law, and put it in the side of the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, that it may be there for a witness against thee. For I know thy rebellion, and thy stiff neck: behold, while I am yet alive with you this day, ye have been rebellious against the LORD; and how much more after my death? Gather unto me all the elders of your tribes, and your officers, that I may speak these words in their ears, and call heaven and earth to record against them. For I know that after my death ye will utterly corrupt yourselves, and turn aside from the way which I have commanded you; and evil will befall you in the latter days; because ye will do evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger through the work of your hands.

(Deu 31:24-29)

When I paid off my worldly debts on July 2, 2021, and for several months after, the only thing I could think of that was appropriate to do was to celebrate.  Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that one day, I will get used to this new freedom, and possibly take it for granted.  Time and time again, whenever I had a big financial decision to make, I have tried to remind myself of all that I fought for, in order to stay out of debt.  

Still, I can feel the joy of being a free man slipping away quickly.  I've even started to consider options for another vehicle should my current one, the 2016 Ford Fiesta, breaks down to the point where it's rational to just finance another vehicle.  This is sinful anxiety (Matthew 6:34), and I need to repent of it.  On this, and other events which would greatly test my faith, I had to repeat the chorus of the song "One Day At A Time" by Christy Lane to myself:

One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from You
Lord, give me the strength to do everyday what I have to do

Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Lord, help me today, show me the way, one day at a time

Ms. Lane speaks the very essence of Matthew 6:34:

Mat 6:34  Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. 

There is a secular quote, which is also true in this circumstance.  It is disputed as to who first spoke it, but it goes like this:

Eternal diligence is the price of liberty.

To this I say, "Amen".

Here is a Scripture which speaks to me:

1Pe 2:16  As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God. 

This is the war I am waging in my heart.  Perhaps it is a good fight (I Timothy 6:12, Jude 1:3).  May God help me in this.

Lane, Christy.  One Day At A Time.  May 1974.

On Lust, Fornication, and Marriage

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

(Mat 5:27-30)

While I was browsing YouTube, I came across a channel called Ear To Hear with a video about overcoming lust.  I have to admit, I thought, "Oh boy, here we go again."  I have to admit, part of why I wanted to find something to expose this channel on (Ephesians 5:11) was because I was annoyed that he's yet another person talking about overcoming lust, and that this topic comes up AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN.  Now, there were a few things worth exposing, such as calling Billy Graham a Christian (he is not, he denied Christ by saying on Hour of Power that there were many paths to God, violating John 14:6), and (at first), it appeared that he was peddling the Word of God for profit, violating 2 Corinthians 2:17 (turns out his sister made the merch for him, and the "peddling" was probably something else).  So, at the time, I deleted that exposure of him, because it wasn't quite clear that he was a false teacher.  He may still be a false teacher, but I haven't found much to prove it.

But on lust:  Honestly, it's not just people who profess Christ who hammer down the lesson on avoiding lust and other forms of sexual immorality, which the KJV calls "fornication".  The Bible Himself hammers it down AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN:

Act 15:29  That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well. 

All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

(1Co 6:12-20)

Eph 5:3  But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:

(1Th 4:3-5)

So, yeah, I must admit, the Bible makes it clear that such activity is a clear and obvious NO-NO.

But why am I so annoyed at this?  

Simple.  I'm single, and I know about this thing called....porn.

Fun fact:  The word for "pornography" comes from the very Greek word for fornication which is "porneia".  So, the "writing of the prostitutes" is quite an accurate term for this.

Now, before we continue:  Yes, I have sinned in this manner before (I John 1:9).  I am working on fleeing (I Corinthians 6:18) from even the "light" stuff, however that's defined.  I've stumbled recently (March 29, 2025), but I am seriously repenting and fleeing.

So if sexual sin is such a problem, what's a solution?  Yes, Jesus gives a solution to sexual immorality, and it is an extreme one:

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

(Mat 5:29-30)

Jesus is serious about this.  If there's anything that's causing you to sin, cut it off.  Let's just hope it's not your literal body parts, because if it is, Jesus is COMMANDING you to LITERALLY cut off your body parts.  LITERALLY.  SERIOUSLY.  

Some of you may be wondering, "Oh, Jesus didn't mean that!"  In fact, while I was participating in a Reddit NoFap challenge (of which I probably shouldn't have done), I rebuked a veteran user by the name of fredtheuser on this very thing, and he essentially told me, "Are you saying that billions of Christians are mistaken and you're the only one who got it right?"  He then went on to say that if it were literally true, then our literal hearts must be taken out, because the sin is in the heart.  I have doubts about this.  Recently, I've stopped considering the literal organ we call the heart to be the "heart" Jesus was speaking about.  Jesus said:

Mat 15:19  For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Can the blood-pumping muscle in your brain think?  See this article where I explain more about that.

But I digress.

Now, as for your literal body parts, indeed, let's hope it doesn't come to that.  (One thing Ear To Hear does get right about overcoming lust is a form of this, saying that you should delete your social media accounts [presuming that social media is causing you to sin].)

Yet, there is another way to prevent lust and sexual immorality, something that Jesus also approves of (seeing that He is the Word of God, see John 1:1, I John 1:1, etc.)  It's a sort-of "lightning rod".  It's called "marriage":

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

(Pro 5:15-19)

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

(1Co 7:1-5)

Yet what do I hear from the modern church?  crickets...crickets...crickets.  I hear next to NOTHING about using marriage as a means to stop sexual immorality.  If you knew me back in the mid-2010s, you knew that this was my gospel that I myself preached to people.  I even had a name for what I was doing: "The Epic Quest For The Blessed Fountain", the name based on Proverbs 5:18.  Many people, especially the women I was going after, thought I was crazy.  Only one church (which I believe is defunct) actually defended my actions.  This church however rebuked me for me wanting to "date", saying that dating is unbiblical.  It's funny, they compare that to partaking of what Protestants call "communion" using Pop-Tarts and Kool-Aid.  Now, as for dating being unbiblical, I can see that (an example being I Thessalonians 4:5), but I'm not entirely sure.  Of course, this church also said that marrying unbelievers is OK, which is obviously a lie:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

(2Co 6:14-18)

But back to the apparent silence of marriage as the solution for singles.  I've checked, and it's true:  Only a handful of churches and groups that profess Christ even attempt to rectify the singles situation with marriage.  Unfortunately, I have serious doubts that any of them are in the Truth.  Higher Bond, a 'Christian' singles website that also allows 'separated people' to seek marriage, could be a violation of Matthew 5:32 and the like, and a matchmaking program from the New Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Churches (which advocate for KJV-Only (compare Isaiah 61:1 and Jesus' version in Luke 4:18, this shows that KJV-Only is heretical) and Free Grace OSAS (see Hebrews 6:1-6 and 10:26-31)).  Still, on specifically this subject, their heart is in the right place.

Now, I'm not saying finding a spouse is easy.  In this wicked world, even amongst those who call themselves Christians, finding a spouse is quite difficult.  However, it's even rarer to find ANYONE to perform matchmaking ministries that specifically address sexual immorality.

Now, yes, being single is preferable to being married.  Ask Paul in I Corinthians 7.  Yet, Paul's not stupid.  He knows that sex exists, and that it can get out of hand (I Corinthians 7:2), which is WHY, despite it being "trouble in the flesh" (I Corinthians 7:28), he also promotes marriage (he also does so in a different case in I Timothy 5:14).

Not that I seek one at this time, if I ever find a wife, this Scripture verse will certainly be proven true:

Pro 18:22  Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. 

You Know What? I Give Up.

2Ti_2:4  No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.

I came across this YouTube video talking about how Republican Christians (I'm officially politically independent, btw) are in danger of being rejected by Christ because they didn't help the poor (through refusing to vote for Kamala Harris).

 Here's the video:

So yes, Donald Trump is highly unorthodox, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and I disagree with many of his policies.  In addition, Kamala Harris is still one to advocate not only for baby murder via abortion, but also, and this is a non-biblical opinion of mine, policies that are economically destructive.

Then I remembered the above Scripture verse.

Ever since I first voted for Presidents in 2008, I voted for neither major party candidate, only voting for Libertarians a few times (I have since rejected Libertarianism, since they advocate for legal prostitution (a sin we are to flee says I Corinthians 6:13)).

So, in 2024, I am considering voting for a random person whom nobody knows, or...

I might even refrain from voting entirely.  

So why am I even voting if I'm not confident of either pick?  Well, out of family honor (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1), I have voted.  Even when Donald Trump was on the ballot in 2016 and 2020, I neither voted for him, Hillary Clinton, nor Joe Biden.  

Then again, and let me repeat this:

2Ti_2:4  No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.

To not vote, and thus possibly disobeying my parents in this matter, in the name of Christ, and correct me if I'm wrong (Proverbs 6:23), is permitted:

Act 5:29  Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. 

In addition, how is it any of my business (I Thessalonians 4:11) who the President of the United States is?  

Now again, I may be wrong on all of this.  Please, someone, help me out.  Explain to me how voting for either Donald Trump or Kamala Harris in 2024 is the godly and Biblical choice, even if neither of them are true believers.

Honestly, I absolutely HATE being scared into voting for a particular candidate, if it SOUNDS as if choosing wrong sends me to Hell.  I believe in helping the poor, but I ALSO believe in truth.  What's the truth?

Excerpts from Ecclesiastes (Or, How I'm Feeling Right Now)

 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose. The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again. All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us. There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.

(Ecc 1:1-11)

Ecc 12:8  Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity. 

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

(Ecc 12:13-14)

UPDATE on 9/15:  I was going to work on a post about how the righteous are scarcely saved (I Peter 4:18), and why I sometimes question the good times (because of "woe to you who are rich" from Luke 6:24), but I'm feeling so tired and emotionally worn out from the previous day.  Just a few things going on, and possibly a reminder to heed the following:

Eph 5:29  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Yes, this was a reference to husbands loving their wives, but Paul uses a real and practical example to illustrate his point, a point what we today would call "self-care".  So, if Paul, a man of God, does not condemn the concept of "self-care", neither should I.

Thus, I have some self-care to do, mainly mentally.  So, if I don't post often on this blog, just give me some time please.  I don't want to be rambling on incoherently, especially on biblical matters (see I Timothy 1:7).

What If I'm Not Saved? (And Discovering A New Method Of Evangelism)

 I know, it's an unusual question to ask, but I have to vent.

I've been a Christian for many years (how many, I don't know, I don't count the time I first "asked Jesus into my heart", I was still following false Christianity at the time).  Yet, I don't seem to have the passion and desire to proselytize openly to others in public.  You know, what they call "street preaching".  Why don't I do this?  My main excuse is, "I don't know what to say.", which reminds me of these verses:

But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.

(Mat 10:19-20)

And there are others like this.

Concerning proselytizing in general, I am also reminded of this verse (or something like it):

Jer 4:19  My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war. 

I think the actual verse I'm thinking of says something like "I cannot hold it in", that is, the words of the Gospel.

Here's another one:

1Co 9:16  For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel! 

So where does the "What If I'm Not Saved?" come in?  Well, I am reminded of a quote by Charles Spurgeon (a false teacher though, he believes there will be more people in Heaven than in Hell, contradicting Matthew 20:16 and the like), which reads:

"Have you no wish for others to be saved?  Then you are not saved yourself.  Be sure of that."

Is this Biblical?  I don't know.  Still, I answer the question from Mr. Spurgeon.  Do I wish others to be saved?  Of course!  I would love for people to see the light and experience the truth like I have.  There is hope in this godless world, and it is through knowing the Truth.

You know, as of this writing, perhaps that is what is missing in my evangelism, my own personal testimony.  I haven't really thought of it, but there is something that does give me joy (and sometimes excitement), as well as calm assurance, and that is the fact that I know the Truth, that I can access the Truth, and that the Truth will not lie to me.  In this instance, The Truth (who is Jesus Christ says John 14:6) is a little like Rick Astley to me, but not totally.  I was going to compare the chorus of "Never Gonna Give You Up" to what Jesus says, but a few problems:  Jesus (even through the disciples) can make you cry in this world:

Act 21:13  Then Paul answered, What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus. 

Yet, the other lyrics ("Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you") sounds a lot like the following:

Heb 13:5  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 

(and the like, Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, Joshua 1:5, I Chronicles 28:20, etc.)

In other words, THE TRUTH WILL NOT LIE TO ME!!!  Mere men lie.  Jesus, who is the Bible (John 1:1, 1:14, I John 1:1, Revelation 19:13, etc.), who is the Truth (John 14:6), doesn't.

This is why:

Luk 24:32  And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures? 

So, something to think about.  A unique evangelism method.  May God lead me to spread the message of heart burning Truth.

Charles (CH) Spurgeon. “Do You Wish Others to Be Saved? – Charles Spurgeon | Deeper Christian Quotes.” Deeperchristianquotes.com, 2019, deeperchristianquotes.com/do-you-wish-others-to-be-saved-charles-spurgeon/. Accessed 17 Aug. 2024.