On I Corinthians 7 and Singleness

"I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I." --I Corinthians 7:8 (KJV)

"I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.  Art thou bound unto a wife?  seek not to be loosed.  Art thou loosed from a wife?  seek not a wife.  But and if thou marry, thou has not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned.  Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you." -- I Corinthians 7:26-28 (KJV)

I just want to give a quick reminder to all those out there who are single and struggling with the notion of marriage, that it's OK to be single.  While I Corinthians 7 does advise churches to let Christian couples heated in the loins towards one another marry (v. 9) and for the couples to give "due benevolence" to one another (in the non-platonic matter) (v. 1-5), Paul also advises, with faithful (v. 25) judgment endorsed by the Holy Spirit (v. 40), for those who are single to stay single to make life easier for themselves, and to serve the Lord better (v. 32-35).  Paul is not saying that married people are unrighteous, but rather that married people have split priorities between the Lord and each other, albeit not a sinful arrangement.

There is a saying I have, and while I don't claim any divine endorsement as Paul did, I hope you examine this saying (I Thessalonians 5:21) to weigh its merit:

While one is better than two, two is better than twenty.

Meaning, while one focus (God) is better than two (God and your spouse), two focuses (God and your spouse) are better than twenty (or maybe more, depending on one's relationship with the world).

Now, for many, this is an obvious teaching.  However, I post it anyway, in part, also for myself. 

 

 

The Source of Contentment Is Jesus

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." -- Hebrews 13:5

One day, going to lunch at a nearby pizza place, I thought about contentment, or satisfaction, a lot.  I wrote down a few notes with the intention of putting all this in a book.  I've said in this blog that I might do a post on contentment, and tonight, I decided to give it a shot.

The tentative title of the first chapter is "The Source of Contentment is Jesus".  Now, of course, presuming I write, finish, and publish the book, that this chapter will be released to the public for free, since it speaks of the Bible, and I don't want to make merchandise of the Word of God (2 Corinthians 2:17).

So, why do I say that the source of contentment is Jesus?  Because this world is full of dissatisfaction.  Even Mick Jagger said in the title song, "I can't get no satisfaction".  It seems that everyone, especially in developed countries like the USA, are always striving for the next big thing in their lives, whether it be a better paying job, a nicer house, a nicer car, etc.  I too once bought into the lie of the "American Dream".

Then, like in the lyrics to the theme song to "Friends", "it's like you're always stuck in second gear, when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year..."  

I didn't get a job in my college major.

I didn't move out, either during college (the school was blocks away from home), or after college.

I didn't get married.

I didn't get to have righteous sex.  (I'm just being honest, my desire to be a father was secondary to my desire for the ever elusive dangling "pleasure of pleasures" (what I called it), I might do a post about the modern church's culture on sex, which had a HUGE effect on me)

So, I was especially dissatisfied with life, given that I also had tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt.

How then did I learn to be content with my life?  Firstly, it was a biblical command to do so, reinforced by some preachers from time to time.  

Now, I did have a positive attitude in the first few years after college, thinking that since I started at the bottom (due to the 2008 recession), the only direction to go is up.  With the exception of some theophobic scrupulosity in the early 2010s, when I learned that modern Christianity is a big lie that sends people to Hell, I was generally OK with my life.

On Marriage

Then, one of my cousins, who I never thought would get married, got married.  I was the oldest in my generation in that side of the family who was still single, 2nd oldest in my generation overall.  That, with also battling lust led me to actively find a wife.  Not "get married", but "find a wife".  I was determined.  I used I Corinthians 7 as my key Scripture in this "epic quest for the blessed fountain" (see Proverbs 5:18).

There was one preacher (who I later found to be false) named Vaughn Ohlman who even offered a practical opportunity for me to find a wife, but after arguing about dating, which he believed was unbiblical (in fact, the Bible never mentions it explicitly), I stopped listening to him.  He even taught that you can marry an unbeliever, twisting the words of I Corinthians 7:11-16!  He explained away 2 Corinthians 6:14, that speaks of "not being unequally yoked together with unbelievers" with the previous Scripture. 

Anyway, dozens of women and three actual physical meetings with two people later,  I was content with singleness, although not instantly.  It took more study of Scripture, such as Proverbs 21:9 and 25:24, which says:

"It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman (and) in a wide house."

Proverbs 25:24 in the KJV adds the word "and".

And of course the recommendation by Paul for single people to stay single in I Corinthians 7 helped as well.

In essence, Scripture (whom Jesus also is, says John 1:1, John 1:14, I John 1:1, I John 5:7, Revelation 19:13) led me to contentment.

On Living With My Parents

As for living at home, there were many pieces of Scripture that I studied in order to calm my dissatisfaction.  

Firstly, there's the example of Jacob and his sons in Genesis 37 - 50.  Generally, they all lived together (even with a long foot commute to and from Egypt).  In fact, one of them is listed as having children of his own:

"And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again." -- Genesis 42:37

Thus, multi-generational living is a thing, albeit not always under the threat of death.

Secondly, there's the command to provide for your family:

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." -- I Timothy 5:8

It's easier to do this if you all live together.  A provider is the OPPOSITE of a sponge.  Besides, in Mark 7:9-13, Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for disobeying the command to honor their father and mother for the sake of "Corban".  In this passage, and similar ones in Matthew 15:3-6, the context of "honor thy father and mother" is supporting them, helping them, providing for them, etc.

In the Treasury of Scripture Knowledge entry for Mark 7:11, the author calls "corban":

"a formula common among the Jews on such occasions; by which the Pharisees released a child from supporting his parents; and even deemed it sacrilege if he afterwards gave anything for their use."

So, those two pieces of Scripture wisdom, in addition to the greatly decreasing stigma of living at home, helps in my contentment in this manner.

I say it again: The source of contentment is Jesus.  He commands it, and He shows you how to do it.

Other Works Cited:

Bagster, Samuel. Edited by R. A. Torrey.

TSK Cross References, from e-Sword by Rick Meyers.

On Lust, Fornication, and Marriage

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

(Mat 5:27-30)

While I was browsing YouTube, I came across a channel called Ear To Hear with a video about overcoming lust.  I have to admit, I thought, "Oh boy, here we go again."  I have to admit, part of why I wanted to find something to expose this channel on (Ephesians 5:11) was because I was annoyed that he's yet another person talking about overcoming lust, and that this topic comes up AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN.  Now, there were a few things worth exposing, such as calling Billy Graham a Christian (he is not, he denied Christ by saying on Hour of Power that there were many paths to God, violating John 14:6), and (at first), it appeared that he was peddling the Word of God for profit, violating 2 Corinthians 2:17 (turns out his sister made the merch for him, and the "peddling" was probably something else).  So, at the time, I deleted that exposure of him, because it wasn't quite clear that he was a false teacher.  He may still be a false teacher, but I haven't found much to prove it.

But on lust:  Honestly, it's not just people who profess Christ who hammer down the lesson on avoiding lust and other forms of sexual immorality, which the KJV calls "fornication".  The Bible Himself hammers it down AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN:

Act 15:29  That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well. 

All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

(1Co 6:12-20)

Eph 5:3  But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:

(1Th 4:3-5)

So, yeah, I must admit, the Bible makes it clear that such activity is a clear and obvious NO-NO.

But why am I so annoyed at this?  

Simple.  I'm single, and I know about this thing called....porn.

Fun fact:  The word for "pornography" comes from the very Greek word for fornication which is "porneia".  So, the "writing of the prostitutes" is quite an accurate term for this.

Now, before we continue:  Yes, I have sinned in this manner before (I John 1:9).  I am working on fleeing (I Corinthians 6:18) from even the "light" stuff, however that's defined.  I've stumbled recently (March 29, 2025), but I am seriously repenting and fleeing.

So if sexual sin is such a problem, what's a solution?  Yes, Jesus gives a solution to sexual immorality, and it is an extreme one:

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

(Mat 5:29-30)

Jesus is serious about this.  If there's anything that's causing you to sin, cut it off.  Let's just hope it's not your literal body parts, because if it is, Jesus is COMMANDING you to LITERALLY cut off your body parts.  LITERALLY.  SERIOUSLY.  

Some of you may be wondering, "Oh, Jesus didn't mean that!"  In fact, while I was participating in a Reddit NoFap challenge (of which I probably shouldn't have done), I rebuked a veteran user by the name of fredtheuser on this very thing, and he essentially told me, "Are you saying that billions of Christians are mistaken and you're the only one who got it right?"  He then went on to say that if it were literally true, then our literal hearts must be taken out, because the sin is in the heart.  I have doubts about this.  Recently, I've stopped considering the literal organ we call the heart to be the "heart" Jesus was speaking about.  Jesus said:

Mat 15:19  For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Can the blood-pumping muscle in your brain think?  See this article where I explain more about that.

But I digress.

Now, as for your literal body parts, indeed, let's hope it doesn't come to that.  (One thing Ear To Hear does get right about overcoming lust is a form of this, saying that you should delete your social media accounts [presuming that social media is causing you to sin].)

Yet, there is another way to prevent lust and sexual immorality, something that Jesus also approves of (seeing that He is the Word of God, see John 1:1, I John 1:1, etc.)  It's a sort-of "lightning rod".  It's called "marriage":

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

(Pro 5:15-19)

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

(1Co 7:1-5)

Yet what do I hear from the modern church?  crickets...crickets...crickets.  I hear next to NOTHING about using marriage as a means to stop sexual immorality.  If you knew me back in the mid-2010s, you knew that this was my gospel that I myself preached to people.  I even had a name for what I was doing: "The Epic Quest For The Blessed Fountain", the name based on Proverbs 5:18.  Many people, especially the women I was going after, thought I was crazy.  Only one church (which I believe is defunct) actually defended my actions.  This church however rebuked me for me wanting to "date", saying that dating is unbiblical.  It's funny, they compare that to partaking of what Protestants call "communion" using Pop-Tarts and Kool-Aid.  Now, as for dating being unbiblical, I can see that (an example being I Thessalonians 4:5), but I'm not entirely sure.  Of course, this church also said that marrying unbelievers is OK, which is obviously a lie:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

(2Co 6:14-18)

But back to the apparent silence of marriage as the solution for singles.  I've checked, and it's true:  Only a handful of churches and groups that profess Christ even attempt to rectify the singles situation with marriage.  Unfortunately, I have serious doubts that any of them are in the Truth.  Higher Bond, a 'Christian' singles website that also allows 'separated people' to seek marriage, could be a violation of Matthew 5:32 and the like, and a matchmaking program from the New Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Churches (which advocate for KJV-Only (compare Isaiah 61:1 and Jesus' version in Luke 4:18, this shows that KJV-Only is heretical) and Free Grace OSAS (see Hebrews 6:1-6 and 10:26-31)).  Still, on specifically this subject, their heart is in the right place.

Now, I'm not saying finding a spouse is easy.  In this wicked world, even amongst those who call themselves Christians, finding a spouse is quite difficult.  However, it's even rarer to find ANYONE to perform matchmaking ministries that specifically address sexual immorality.

Now, yes, being single is preferable to being married.  Ask Paul in I Corinthians 7.  Yet, Paul's not stupid.  He knows that sex exists, and that it can get out of hand (I Corinthians 7:2), which is WHY, despite it being "trouble in the flesh" (I Corinthians 7:28), he also promotes marriage (he also does so in a different case in I Timothy 5:14).

Not that I seek one at this time, if I ever find a wife, this Scripture verse will certainly be proven true:

Pro 18:22  Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.