For the last few weeks, I have had several pangs of conscience over my past sins, even as far as back as a teenager (mainly concerning piracy, which have since been confessed and forsaken).
This confession piece is about my employer, USD 290. I am a school custodian there, working as Lead Custodian at Lincoln Elementary.
Yes, I have received high ratings from my supervisor and praise from students, staff, supervisors, and the superintendent.
Yet, upon inspection of board policy and the district handbook, I discovered that I have fallen short of following the rules. At times, I have used communication devices in disruption of my duties. I have also used district supplies for personal things (such as using what may be district pen and paper to write an "infraction log", attempting to do what I am doing now on non-school equipment and supplies.). I may have even violated the rules on gifts (to the district, not the kids as far as I know). Oh, one more thing: I may not have submitted every accident report I should have. That, and I have not always followed my supervisor's orders. There may be even other things I am in violation of.
Now, you may say, "These are petty things. Who cares?". Well, I suppose God cares. He sees every detail of my conduct, and knows when I fall short.
And you're right: To my knowledge, I have not committed acts so serious as to warrant instant termination. I suppose if I have, I would have already lost my job.
However, this post here is to ease my condemning conscience, and to provide honesty in case anyone asks for the reason why I say I'm not a great custodian or why I say I haven't followed the rules perfectly.
Not only that, but as a condition of employment, I agreed to follow such rules. This, I have broken my word. I have technically been unfaithful to the agreement.
Again, not only that, but I suppose I have never been faithful to any of the agreements I signed upon hiring and upon receiving my pay raises, when weighed against the above scrutiny. At the very least, a few of my lapses of judgment have not gone unpunished though, as I was indeed written up in 2014 or 2015 for an incident of subpar performance.
If I am praised and awarded for outstanding conduct, I hope it's not because I followed the rules to the letter. I have not. And I suppose I will probably slip up in the future, not that this gives me a pass to do so, not at all but I just want to be honest.
And so, with this post, no one can ever say that I didn't slip my shortcomings under the rug.
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